There is a reality for all salon owners, in fact it is simply a reality of life, you will make mistakes, you are human. The way we view mistakes determines how we behave in the future and too often we allow our mistakes to hold us back from future success.
When you make a mistake, you are probably embarrassed, have a sinking feeling in your stomach, you may be a little anxious. I can feel it just writing about it, thinking about some of the things I’ve gotten wrong over the years.
If you sit and reflect on your mistakes it is easy to blame yourself. It’s natural response to feel guilt and shame. Unfortunately, we aren’t taught how to deal with negative emotions the same we are the positive.
You need to know, before you can learn to succeed, you must learn to fail. You must stop trying to not make mistakes, accept that you will make plenty and use this as an opportunity to grow.
It is also helpful for you to acknowledge that there are never only two ways to do things. A desire to achieve perfection removes the reality that there are always things outside of our control, success is always uncertain.
A powerful tip is to remove yourself from the mistake. Just because you made a bad decision does not mean you are a bad. You are not a bad person, you simply got it wrong. This one exercise of framing things differently in your own mind could change your future dramatically. Accepting that everyone makes mistakes, and they don’t define who you are will change how you view your life.
We know past mistakes are likely to be causing you damage every day. You need to learn to forgive yourself and let go of the negative emotions that are holding you back. While you generally don’t let people see them, the negative emotions are eating away at you inside and likely taking away some satisfaction in your life.
Self-forgiveness is difficult to embrace, although forgiving yourself allows you to let go of negativity and have a better future. When you can forgive yourself, you will experience less stress, muscle tension, dizziness, headaches, and upset stomachs. Also, you will probably see an improvement in appetite, sleep patterns, energy, and general wellbeing.
SOME TIPS ON SELF-FORGIVENESS
Forgiveness starts with being honest and vulnerable about who you are. Whether a friend, coach, or counsellor, get it out on the table. When we verbalise things, it’s the first step to healing.
You can’t just pretend it didn’t happen. Be honest with yourself about what has happened, the consequences and the behaviours that led to it. Remember to keep yourself separate from the mistake.
Don’t miss out on life by holding onto things, you will have regret, it is part of life. Accept what has happened and experience the freedom to move on and enjoy the new.
You don’t need to justify your past actions or try to prove yourself. Self-forgiveness is a choice but also a process. It’s choosing to stop being negative to yourself and to start seeing the value you have to give.
When we think about salon life, it’s the expectations we set ourselves (or others set for us) that often guide our decision-making process. The trouble with expectations are they can often be unrealistic or unhealthy. If you find yourself not being able to meet these expectations, it could be time for a reset.
Managing expectations is difficult and can be harder because more often than not they are not spoken about. Whether you are dealing with a client or a team member it’s essential to remember you can say no. You should also seek clarity to ensure that what you are hearing is what they mean.
A fear of failure is often overpowering when it comes to how you view your mistakes. There are good mistakes, they allow for growth and are valuable lessons in your journey. If you can learn from your mistakes, you can take strong and clear actions to not repeat them. A mistake is not a failure, it is however something you will struggle to move on from if you have not learned from it.
A little perspective is necessary, your salon will not close from making a mistake, you will wake up the next day with a business that is still running. You need to get back on your feet and keep going, that is just how it is. You may have to work harder to overcome it, give a little more to your clients or team, but you can do it. I am not saying you can continue to make mistakes without consequences, although they are often not as bad your mind tells you.
Business ownership is an extreme sport, one that involves giving a significant amount of yourself to others. The daily pressures are unseen by those around you, often because you keep them hidden. There is a trait amongst business owners that is admirable though and that it resilience. Your ability to continue to keep getting up when you fall is why you can keep embracing the opportunities of being in business for yourself.
It is a valuable lesson to give to your team too. Helping them understand that mistakes are a part of life and giving them healthy strategies for overcoming them.
This doesn’t take away the need for standards, but it will create a culture of learning and striving to be better every day.
As the leader you can model how to handle mistakes by being more vulnerable and authentic with your team.
The other thing that comes to mind is you don’t have to all the answers on the spot. Regularly I see (and used to) always try and solve people’s problems for them on the spot. Mistakes are often made by rushing. Take your time to consider the consequences first.
One of the greatest things about being a ZING coach is we have all been there. A group of people who own or have owned salons, we bring our experience to the table, our learnings from our own mistakes (yes me made them and continue too.) One of the reasons we get success for salon owners is our ability help them identify how to learn from their past mistakes and not hold onto them, to LET IT GO!
Mistakes provide an opportunity to see things from a new perspective and allow you to be more innovative in your thinking moving forward.
Start using your mistakes to think outside the box, prepare for the bigger challenges that lie ahead and know you have more tools at your disposal with every new learning in life.
David Watts is a salon owner and support coach on Team Chrissy – The ZING Project. David has a diverse background in sales, marketing and operations and is passionate about improving the professionalism of the industry. Contact David via email email@example.com or DM on Instagram @davidwatts_zing